I think I am qualified...

I handle difficult clients all the time.

A lot of them don't take my advice. Most of them do things that they later swear they never did (especially when it prejudices their case and I have warned them about it constantly... but I'm not bitter).

And I've been doing it at probably a tenth the price some others have been doing it.

I figure if other people can do it and make some money off of it, then why shouldn't I?

So here's my offer to Britney: I can be your lawyer. You can ignore my advice, do inane things which will cause the court to rule against you at the custody hearings and all at a reasonable price for as long as you want. All you need to do is make sure that the retainer check does not bounce and the Angry Bell will be happy to beginning appearing on your behalf.