All I can say for now is... they apparently liked Brandy.
So Mrs. Angrybell and I came in on Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas. First impression: this girl is so nervous its not fun. But hey, Mark Ballas is good for her. The Three Dog Night songwas good. She looks lost out on the floor. Her footwork is awful, but she remembers to use some hips and she likes to shimmy. We've seen worse (ahem Macy Gray)... but not many. I think Len is cutting her some slack. Would the Judges cut her a little more slack? Mrs. Angrybell (my GOP wife) believes that Bristol's mom is a terrible mother who has essentially abandoned her daughter and granddaughter. The 18 was generous by the way.
That preview bit with Florence was just wrong. Just wrong. Please dear lord never let me see that again.
And after the break, its Florence Henderson and Corky Ballas. Mrs. Brady doesn't look bad for her age. Out of the gate, her footwork is light years better than Bristol, her hips not so much. However, she is a little wooden at time and very flat on her feet. Rather, she is heavy on her feet, which makes it a struggle for her to keep up with the music. On the other hand, she seems game to go for it so lets see what will happen. She should get about what Bristol got, if I had a paddle. Len, just a question... when did Florence become thick and unfit? She certainly looks in good shape for someone her age. And the 18 seems right so far.
Michael Bolton and Chelsea Hightower came up next. Described as a music legend. Music nightmare perhaps. They drew the Viennese Waltz. He dances the beginning trying to get the right rise and fall but ends up with the common novice mistake of being on his toes too much. He is not getting any heel leads. Chelsea is also back leading him through this routine. He almost fakes it nicely and appears to have some rhythm. Carrie Ann was very generous in her description of what was going on with the leading and the following. I was a little surprised by the 5's, for a total of 16. I didn't think he was that much worse than Flo or Bristol.
Next comes The Situation. Mike and Karina Smirnoff apparently had an abbreviated training period. He embarrasses my wife (who has more than a little Italian in her) and he is already annoying me. Already I've had enough of The Mouth...er The Situation... Ugh. And he hasn't danced yet. So far, she threw in some nonsense to start this cha cha cha. His footwork is a disaster. Mrs. Angrybell thinks he could be worse. Sure, he could be Macy Gray or Master P. But he is not that far from either of them. Oh Karina.. I am so sorry. Len, I love that "You've got the guns but not the ammunition". The judges are correct, there may be something there. The question is how quick he bring it to the fore. On the other hand, he is so freaking obnoxious already... I would not shed a tear if he went home after this one. The 15 was earned.
Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough followed that mess. And right off the bat, making the Dirty Dancing references. And they drew the Viennese Waltz. Mrs. Angrybell thinks that Jennifer should do well because of her background (as well as "Who doesn't want Baby to win?"). Then again, she is doing the routine pretty well. Her footwork needs help, but that is more in the fact that it is hard for people to pick up the heel toe movement quickly. Of the ones I saw, this was the best so far. Can Carrie Ann get more full of crap? Someone people turn off her mike so we don't have hear her drivel. 24. Wow. Baby is out of the corner for this week.
Kym Johnson and David Hasselhoff followed up that. The Hoff appears to be trying out Situation the Situation when it comes to cheesiness. He is looking old. Kids... don't be a drunk. Can someone explain to me his love affair with going sleeveless all the time? His outfit makes him look like a bad Elvis impersonator. He is off beat to start the song. Sometimes he is getting the cha cha cha action going, sometimes eh is missing it (and I know there are some steps where he doesn't have to get the cha cha cha step in). Good attempt at trying to work the hips for a guy his age. Sex Bomb... interesting song. Better than Mike Sorrentino. But then.. that's not saying a whole lot. Donny Osmond and Jerry Spring... interesting of Carrie Ann to say that. And Len is spunky tonight with his comments. The 15 was a little harsh, but not too much harsher.
Given the ones I saw, here's what I say:
Jennifer Grey looks like she came to dance. As far as the rest of them go... throw them back and hope the professionals get something better next season. If I had to like any of them, I suppose I'll take the Hoff and Brisol. If I get a chance, I'll track down the first hour.
This season does not seem promising right now.