Can I dance with madness? (DWTS Recap)

Chelsea and Jake Pavelka start off the night with the Samba. Jake decided to forgoe the fake tan apparently. He’s not bouncy enough. He looks like a chicken and will someone please tell him those facial expressions are not helping him. He is also off timing wise, and just barely missed knocking her on her bum. Mrs. Angrybell doesn’t think he is doing the hold very well, and thinks that he grabbed her boob. We disagree on whether we think he is having fun with the dance. As the lead off pair, they get the benefit of the doubt. 21.

Evan and Anna followed up with a samba of their own. This is a man who barely has been introduced to his hips. That fall int eh training looked painful and concussion worthy. And apparently, Dr. Axel says it was a mild concussion. Mrs. Angrybell is against Anna flipping Evan. And now on the Samba. They got a much better song than Jake. He looks like he is squatting a bit. I’m not sure that is right. Mrs. Angrybell likes it. I am just wondering about some of Evan’s stuff. His hip movement is working for him. It just feels like there are bit where it goes a little wrong and he is just off and then gets right back into it. Can’t call it perfect. And then Len put his finger on what I couldn’t say. He is right, it was too balletic and not enough party. Mrs. Angrybell thinks the 7s were frakked up. Even with Len’s comment (which she disagrees with). I agree, Evan got hosed.

Niecey and Louie showed up with a change of pace with the argentine tango. Niecey is having too much fun training. Mrs. Angrybell is stunned speechless by Nicey’s outfit. And not in a good way. The footwork is nice in the beginning, and playful, but she is not close enough to his hip. For someone who is not in shape, nor flexible, she does a good impersonation. That lift over the knee is just off, but I love the cookie at the end! Len liked the comedy and the cookie? Is the world about to end? Will the Cubbies win the World Series now? What the hell is going on with these scores? Can't you people admit that Jake did not deserve the 7s he got and stop penalizing the rest by giving them 7s when they did better? 21 for Niecy.

Maksim and Erin argued their way on to the dance floor. Dancing the Samba in an unfortunate outfit. Mrs. Angrybell thinks she looks like Adrianna from the Sopranos. Interesting that he tried a little solo bit in the beginning. Problem is, she is not that graceful. Mrs. Angrybell thinks that Maksim is having to drag her around too much. As the dance goes on, she is dancing more, following, as opposed to being drug about. Ahh, and then Maksim gets to show off the guns. Tatiana Ali where are you? Mrs. Angrybell thinks there is no need for the shirtless Maksim. Erin is... not a great dancer, but then again, she is not as abd as some of the models that have graced the stage. Carrie Ann is smoking something. And apparently Bruno is too. Is the fix in? Really? 25? Mrs. Angrybell calls foul!

Chad and Cheryl need a good dance tonight. He started off well, and then has gone into a bit of a decline. And tonight is the Argentine tango. Well he is good and close to her. The problem is that he looks a little tentative in the start. When they get into the spin, he looks better, but when Cheryl has him choreographed for the slow pause steps (I know they have a proper name, and I can't remember what they are), he looks less sure. On the good side, Cheryl makes it hard to look at him. The intensity is there in the face, but not always in the steps and then it starts to come out at the end. Ugh. Two dances in one. Fortunately for him, the judges only seemed to see the parts he did well. 24.

Nicole and Derek also drew the samba. Nicole is really feeling the pressure this week. Now this is what a samba should look like. I am not a fan of her hair and its causing her trouble sometimes. But otherwise, I am enjoying this. She should have raided Edyta's closet for this dance. I am not a fan of this outfit. And she could've almost worn some of Edyta's stuff. That last move at the end was very nice. Whats the problem with this dance? I'm not sure. Len is interesting in that he thinks that if certain steps are not there its a problem. I agree with that to a point, but it looked good. 26. Bruno is in love with her.

Pam and that guy (Damian?) danced the Argentine tango. Why is he having so much trouble lifting her up? She looks like she weighs almost nothing. Is saline or silicone that heavy? And she is going to do it with a dark hair style going. This is so not Pam Anderson. Apparently, she is listening to Colby now. I like that opening lift sequence. Mrs. Angrybell and I are split over the sharpness of her steps. I think she is doing just as good if not better, especially on the slows of the steps. Nice second lift, but the landing was a little rocky, Damian! Now her steps are a little of and in the last tango spin it was not quite on. First half of the dance was great. Last half started to lose steam. 22 thanks to Bruno.

Mrs. Angrybell on Brooke Burke: "Have you noticed that Brooke Burke has not looked like a crazy freak all season long? I think it was a contract provision that they not let any of Samantha Harris' dressers/stylists near her."

Now for the group swing marathon. As Chad says "White trees can't dance." And Jake and Chelsea start by mucking about. Really a good idea guys with that many points on the line? Chad and Cheryl look sloppy, as do Pam and Damian. Jake and Chelsea go down first. Derek and his zoot suit are doing what they always do with his partner. Louis and Niecey are working it, but then they go down. Chad is not keeping good time, even when shirtless. Evan and Ana go spinning out of control and they gets them the hook. Nice life from Pam and Damian, even if she almost goes into the floor and not in a good way. I have to say, I am surprised the Maksim and Erin have lasted this long. Chad and Cheryl go down, which is good. Pamela is somehow surviving, but I';m not sure why. And then they go down after a bad series of lifts. Erin should go first, but we shall see what happens. And down goes Erin and Maks. For the second season in a row, Derek and partner win the marathon.

Alright, people, let's get this right this time. Pam does not belong in the bottom two. She should be going on.

As far as leaders. It remains unchanged in my opinion. Nicole and Derek are distancing themselves on the women's side. For the men, unless Chad steps up big time next week (assuming he survives), the best the men have to offer is Evan.

What about the rest? Niecy is nice, but her time on the program may be getting short. Erin, despite that shockingly bad assessment by the judges tonight, should also look out. But in the finally result, the next to go should be: Jake. Can't dance. Surprisingly uncharismatic. Please, send him home!