Monday, March 22, 2010

The Madness Begins - Opening Night

I don't like this new area in the back of the ballroom for the contestants. It looks ridiculous. And who cares. The cameras are never going to more than flash at them so that they can focus on the dancers. Besides, how many times can we really get a shot of them clapping while secretly hoping that their compatriots trip and fall.

Chad Ochocinco and lead off the competition with a cha cha cha. Some hip movement, but he needs to learn to take smaller steps. Mrs. Angrybell thinks he has natural rhythm, much more so than any of the football players. He has charisma, but in Mrs. Angrybell's saying "not like the kind that would rufie a girl". There might be a dancer in there, but Cheryl is going to have to chip away to reveal it. And then Len agrees with me. Whats going on? And what is up with that graphic.. .it looks stupid. 18.

Shannen Doherty and Mark Ballas pulled a Viennese Waltz for their first dance. Not the easy way to start the season. And whoever is in wardrobe really hates her. They were just mean to her. Her footwork is hit and miss so far. She is hitting sometimes and just missing at others. When she swirled by the band it got better. Her posture is not bad, she needs to shoulders down a little but I love how her head is lock on looking away. Oops and I type that she looks around. In the open little bit she looked like a lost duck. The death spiral thing looked good. As Mrs. Angrybell says "Its not bad, and we had to watch Macy Gray danced stoned out there." Bruno is being a little harsh, especially since the dance is not easy to begin with. Looks like 6 is the new 7.

Erin and Maksim followed. I have to say, she knew who she wanted (Tony). Too bad she isn't old enough for him. So they threw her to Maksim. Which, as history tell us, And she drew the cha cha cha for the first dance. Good song. She looks good for. Ok, she is a tall legy blonde, and I think her feet are going where they should. And there is even a little hip action. Now she needs to work on her arms and hands. She looks lost in the open. Mrs. Angrybell points out she is inconsistent. Its like she knows what she is doing, but then she tries to show off how hot she is and gets nervous and then there is a little flub. She's not Stacy Keibler, but she has something there. For a gay dude, Bruno loves leggy blondes. And they apparently liked it to the tune of 21.

Jake Pavelka and Chelsie Hightower followed. They drew the Viennese Waltz. He's a whiner. I hate whiners. Mrs. Angrybell is calling him "the new Lance Bass... he needs to be paired with Lacey Schwimmer so they can both cry." This is a bad rendition of a good song. I'm not blown away here with his footwork. He is either flat footed or on his toes, no in between. There is a lack of smoothness going on here. Where Chad Ochocinco had a natural rhythm with average footwork, Pavelka has no natural rhythm here. And then there was the posture problem. Mrs. Angrybell is aghast at Chelsea's costume, "they look like my grandma's satin beadsheets." Len was surprisingly upbeat with him. Is he on something? Mrs.Angrybell thinks Carrie Anne wants to be next contestant on the Bachelor. He did not deserve Erin level marks. Mrs. Angrybell thinks ABC has put the fix in. 20 was a bogus score.

Niecy Nash and Louis Van Amstel. Louis looked a little shocked, stunned, and amazed. And I'm not sure thats a good thing. I hope she is just mugging for the camera in the montage bit. Fortunately for her, she starts with a cha cha cha. Nice song. Not bouncey enough in her foot work, a little too flat footed. Mrs. Angrybell is concerned that Louis is not going to be able to do a lift with her without some help if she goes far. As it goes on, her footwork gets better. Mrs. Angrybell thinks her legs make her look like Ms. Piggy. I did not follow a word that Bruno said, but I think he didn't like it. I agree with Carrie Ann that it was sassy, but I didn't think it was clean clear or precise. Len, I split with on her. The 18 was fair. But Carrie Ann's 7... really? For real? Are you that scared that

Evan Lysacek and Anna were up next. Anna must feel like she has a shot with this gold medalist. Unfortunately, he drew the Viennese Waltz, which ain't easy for a new dancer. They drew a good song. His posture and extension are great. He is trying to do the rise and fall. He was tucked in there with Anna on the first spin along the floor. He got back in close, which I applaud. Its hard for a new dancer to feel comfortable enough to be in close with someone who is a stranger effectively. Some little mistakes when he came out of the corner and the pirouette was a little shaky. Overall, good dance. Lets see what the judges say. Mrs. Angrybell and I split on this. She says 8. I say 7. 23 was the final score.

Buzz Aldrin and Ashley Costa (apparently not Del Grosso-Costa). He is an 80 year old dude doing the cha cha cha. Wow. This is going to be a Jerry Springer-like dancing I see. He looks a little lost out there. However, I think he is going to get the cute vote to keep him on the floor for a few weeks. The 4 was mean Len. Really. 14 was ... let's not say it.

Nicole Scherzinger and Derek Hough were the palate cleanser (hopefully) for that. Shocker, she wanted Derek. Pop star doing the Viennese Waltz. This could be interesting. She starts off with some nice lines. Lets see if she can keep it up. Apparently, the wardrobe people like her. Posture could use a little work but is not bad. She looks a little nervous in the open, and got a little off but not too bad. The pirouette was nice, but went on too long. It was ok. There just want not a lot of content I thought in the dance. Was Carrie Ann watching the same dance? Len was right looking at it again. Nicole went from smiles to looking shell shocked. I hate to say this (actually, not really) but put on your big girl panties. The 7 was closer to the truth. The 9s were... absurd. 25. This is weird.

Aiden Turner and Edyta cha cha chaed next. Mrs. Angrybell thinks he looks like an underwear model. I hear his voice and I think Mick Brumby. Too bad she drew him. She needs to catch a break. Good song. And Edyta is back wearing a hankie and some tassels. He is lead footed. Mr. Turner, Edyta can only distract the fans for so long. Mrs. Angrybell thinks "he is only a step above Buzz Aldrin... and that's sad." Wow, Carrie Ann is struggling to say something not mean. Len is brutally honest. And then Bruno throws in a Kenny Mayne comparison. In DWTS parlance, thats like saying his mother breeds out of season. The 5's were brutal but

Alright, next is the woman I am most predisposed to hate this season: Kate Goselin. Tony, the cougar magnet, drew her. I'm sorry. I can't stand this woman on a good day. And they burned a Bill Joel song for this one. Tony is definitely hiding her. Which is good because she looks awkward right before that leg lift. She looks scared out there. Buzz looked bad, but he didn't look scared.It took almost 3/4rds of the song for her to start smiling. Mrs. Angrybell thinks she is wearing falsies and wonders why? Bruno was mean right there. The 16 was generous. This should have been 5's or less.

Where's the red swimsuit? Its Pamela Anderson and Damien. A mystery solved: who taught Pamela to use eyeshadow. Mrs. Angrybell thinks that being sexy is not going to be a problem for her. She has hip movement, bu the footwork is hit or mess. She got lucky with the song. Nice leg kick, throwing down the gauntlet to Edyta maybe? She has picked up some stuff. She has some nice footwork at times. There was definitely hairography going on there. The 8 and 7? Really? Alright, 21 is close to right.

And now the new co-host: Brooke Burke. Easy on the eyes. Voice was a little easier on the ears. But she flubbed at the end. Whats up with that? She gets a 7 for the night.

Points-wise, Nicole Scherzinger is on top. However, she doesn't really deserve to be. For my money, the best of the women tonight was Erin Andrews. She just needs to keep in the moment and not get nervous. Right now, Evan is on top for the men. Though I like Chad's potential. He is interesting.

Who should go home? I'd love to see Kate go. But I think Niecy Nash is in more trouble because she might have an iffy fan base for this show. Shannen Dougherty better get it together or she will not be long for this competition. For the men, Pavelka needs to go, but won't. Ditto for Aiden Turner. Which means Buzz's trip might be ending soon. Which is a bit of a bummer.

But let's see what happens next week.

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